Our sweet Lily~ a birth story.

Its been a year since this sweet day....but I wanted to be sure to document all that the Lord did, the day He brought our baby girl into our lives.

Our Lily Grace arrived earlier than expected- but in the most perfect way! This is the story of her birth and also how she was given her name.

We had been monitored closely for fluid levels weekly-and at times twice weekly in the final month and a half of the pregnancy. However, at our 37 wk appointment the fluid was excellent- but she wasn't moving as she should have been at that point of the pregnancy. Her bio-physical profile score was 4/8 - which meant it was evident she would do better being born rather than remaining in the womb.  While we anticipated this could be the result of the doctors appointment- still, when the moment came that our excellent Dr. Hoder (high risk dr) said the words- "you're having your baby today!" the tears began to fall immediately! My anxiety was through the roof- and every possible fear was flooding my mind. Some of my concerns:

What was the plan for the boys? How would they (especially Asher) do being away from us for the first time? What about the things they warned us about during the c-section? What if my placenta had attached to my previous C-section scars-as they warned was a possibility? What if I had severe bleeding as they said was possible? What if they have to do a hysterectomy if they couldn't control the bleeding?  Will the baby (un-named at the time) need to go to the NICU? Is her lack of movement because she isn't doing well? What if we lose her? What if I die? As silly as these fears may sound- the reality of their possibility was terrifying to me/us.

So, we sent out an email to our friends and family asking them to please pray-as we headed to the hospital and waited for surgery. One of our pastors/friend came to the hospital to be with us before we went to the operating room. Andrew talked with us about some of our fears, spoke to us about the TRUTH of who God is and His love for us.  We prayed and after Andrew left the hospital the roller coaster began of plans constantly changing. One minute we were told we'd go into surgery within the hour- then it would likely be delayed a number of hours as they were waiting for enough blood for me just in case of an emergency. While it was concerning to us that my blood type was so hard to find, we also were grateful that they were taking so many precautions just in case things didn't go as planned. As we waited, we both seemed less anxious but it seemed more and more clear that we knew the name of our baby girl.

Now to divert a bit from the birth story- to hear the background on selecting our daughters name....For most of my life anxiety has been a battle for me. Big things, small things- my tendency is to respond in anxiety. However, from the first moment we discovered I was pregnant with my first baby- I found myself in a season unlike any other- and then temptation toward anxiety at times seemed unbearable. This repeated itself with each of my pregnancies, however with this one in particular, I found an intense need to remind myself of God's word in moments when my emotions were ruling my thoughts. The name game started early with this pregnancy- but we never could quite settle on a name we were excited about.  We wanted a name with a strong meaning (like our boys). Mark seemed to really want to use the name Grace somewhere in the name and I felt just as strongly about the name Hope. We tried a number of combinations...but none really fit.

Then, one day the name Lily was mentioned. We looked up the meaning and read about how it is used in the bible.  Matthew 6:28-30 "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" This verse was one I'd considered a number of times in battling my anxiety- and how perfect that it mentions lilies as the reminder of God's faithfulness to us. We researched more about the mention of lilies in the bible and it turns out that they are often used as a sign of Hope in God's word. Hope. Perfect. We also had been overwhelmed with gratefulness to God for this pregnancy- we felt so undeserving of yet another precious gift from the Lord. We knew there was nothing we had done to earn this blessing- and it was simply because of God's undeserved favor to us that we were to be welcoming another baby into our lives. This is why we felt "Grace" was certainly meant to be part of our daughters name.  

Now, back to the story. 

Finally, the hospital had received all of the blood they requested for the surgery and I was set to go to surgery. I tell you what- knowing you are having a C-section has its benefits- but its never easy walking yourself down the hallway- into the operating room- waiting for your epidural and then being wide awake while having a baby cut out of you. Mark had to wait outside of the operating room, until they had me all set up for surgery- I knew he was praying for me while he waited. Once he joined me I felt much better- but then the moments of excitement, fear, anticipation began for both of us.  We'd been prepared for so many possible complications that every moment felt like we were holding our breath to see if something would go wrong. So much was unknown to us, but we found comfort in knowing that nothing was unknown to the Lord- and He was with us. Time passed quickly and the doctor asked if Mark wanted to stand up to see them pull the baby from my stomach. Mark stood and I felt as the tugging began. Next thing I know Mark sat down. I looked at him (only his eyes visible because he had a mask on) and knew something was wrong. I asked if he was ok- he said "yes", I kept asking if he was going to pass out- (given he'd had little to eat that day- I didn't know if he was feeling faint) he said no, but I knew something wasn't right. Meanwhile the tugging continued. It turns out that much to the doctors surprise our baby was breech. This can be a problem because apparently as soon as they cut into the uterus and begin to pull the baby out it clamps down on the baby. If the baby is in the correct position this isn't a problem. With a baby in the breech position- this can be very dangerous. Our baby girl was stuck and they worked quickly to remove her before something serious happened. I remember hearing the doctor say "look at all of her hair! She looks like you Brandy". She barely cried, which I was concerned about at first-(turns out this was something she rarely did until she was like 6 months old!) but she checked out perfectly. Despite being 19 days early- she was perfect. The surgery couldn't have gone more perfectly, no complications were found. A HUGE answer to prayer! We were delighted to see and snuggle our precious baby girl. After months of wondering what we would name her, it was perfectly clear. Lily Grace. Her name means Pure Grace, we are aware daily she is one of the many reminders we have of God's amazing grace to us.  

 Lily Grace was born August 9, 2012.  She was 6 lbs 7 oz 19 1/4 inches long.  

Life has never been the same since that sweet day.