It's hard to believe that two weeks ago today, Matthan was born. The time goes by so quickly as the days and nights all blend together- sometimes it feels like one long never ending day. We continue to enjoy our sweet boy as we try to learn more about what makes him feel safe, secure and loved.
If there was one word to describe the past two weeks it would be "tired". We have been warned for months of all the unexpected changes to expect in our lives once we have a baby, but sleep deprivation is one we certainly weren't prepared for. How is it that a 9lb bundle of joy can rob you of hours of peaceful sleep?? Yet he doesn't seem the least bit sleep deprived?
The Lord taught me something this past week as I related to Matthan. I found myself at a loss as to what to do, Matthan kept crying, didn't seem satisfied with anything I was offering- clean diaper, full belly, lots of kisses- and I began questioning- why does he cry out like this? Doesn't he know we are going to provide for him, we are not trying to hurt him when we change his diaper or clothes, we haven't left him...etc. Of course these questions are silly since he is only a baby- and no he doesn't KNOW any of those things. But God, in His kindness drew my attention to the ways in which I respond to Him at times. Lately I've certainly been aware of fear in my heart about all the unknown circumstances all around us. I think having a little one heightens that temptation for me. But as I was sitting there perplexed about Matthan's tears, I realized- how often I become anxious, fearful, etc and God is far more faithful that I am as a mother to Matthan. It was eye opening, and it certainly helped me to see God as the father that He is- and helped me to see my need to place my trust in God for all the unknown's in my life and to rest in His care over our lives.
We continue to thank God for our sweet baby. We are grateful for God's faithfulness to us. He has been good to us-and our need for Him is great.
2 comments:
I love that connection, so often we do cry out like a helpless newborn not understanding (and sometimes believing) our loving Father will meet our needs. That really encouraged me :) Still can't WAIT to meet your little one. Praying for you.
Hi Brandy and Mark! This is April Quinn, Joe Quinn's wife! Your son is so handsome!!! Congratulations! I love what you wrote. It brought tears to my eyes. I so the connection you have made and the wisdom you seen just by observing your child! I find myself crying out too when I just need to trust in God. He has always taken care of us. Thank you for what you wrote. It really touched my heart! By the way, you will eventually get more sleep!
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